Weird and contradictory is the statement so are my feelings .....
When I know im not supposed to thing or feel the way i am ....im still digging into it!
just the way as a kid i once had a stapler in my hand wanted to see what will happen if i clip my finger, my brain said i should not do it, it will just give you pain.....but my heart said play with it, rest is to handle... and i clipped it....
that just gave me pain....
Din't i grow up yet !
seriously.... its so difficult to practice what you preach....
furious over that i have no control over my thoughts....
confused over the talking thats going on in mind.....
whos doing it all'
the heart.....the brain...
whos it !!
I need to know, i want to clear it right away
I wish i knew where am i walking to .....
the dark or the light...
not to ignore that i always loved walking in the dark...
the desert or the river.....
I love the water again....aww
Focus !!
where is this going...
Is it the happiness or the fiasco
or is it that i am ignoring the fact that its going no where!!
what does it take to get over it
or should i say what does it take to get it.....
I want it !
I want to smile !
I want you !
I want my life !
